I’ve searched so many sites, and have gotten so many different hints or guides. I’ve changed the schools names….
Dear (Admissions names here)
I have been considering attending graduate school for a few years now, and am very excited at the prospect of attending Graduate University to earn my Master’s Degree in Secondary Education and Teacher Certification.
I graduated from Undergrad University earning a degree in Environmental Science, Biology Emphasis in 2006. At Undergrad University I immersed myself into the science program as much as possible. In addition to my academic work, I was involved in the Environmental Action Club where I served as Chairperson for Undergrad University Earth Day and Vice President. During my senior year I was awarded the Cool Scholarship that honors female science majors, became employed by the Biology department as a laboratory assistant, conducted independent research, and was student representative to Undergrad’s Environmental Science Academic Committee as well as the Student Involvement Initiative of the Pennsylvania Environmental Resource Consortium (formerly PCIEP) where I helped organize a symposium to discuss how to make food services more environmentally friendly. I also became an intern at an international environmental consulting firm where, upon my graduation, I was promoted to a full-time employee as an Environmental Scientist. During all of this I was able to maintain a 3.38 GPA.
During my employment following graduation, my husband and I decided to start a family. Although I find motherhood very rewarding, I miss having a career in the science field. As I considered going back into environmental consulting, I thought about all the teachers that I had during my student career. I realized that my teachers were a significant reason I loved science so much. I want to have an opportunity to inspire students. I think many children lose some interest in the sciences as the concepts get more difficult. This is why I chose secondary education as my focus. I want to be able to recapture their interest and instill a lifelong fascination with science.
While at Graduate University I know that I will be attending a respectable university that cares about their students’ intellect and ambitions. It will also help me achieve my personal and professional goals. As a stay-at-home mom I need flexibility in class schedules and the fact that I can obtain my degree through online classes is a huge benefit. I have a clear vision of my goals and I believe attending Graduate University will make those visions a reality. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
(my name)
This is solid and well above most of these types of letters I’ve run across. I have three recommendations:
1. Find one professor at the university where you would like to study and mention his or her name and why you like the research/publication/pedagogy that person is known for. It doesn’t have to be the most prestigious person there, but it should be someone whose work you wouldn’t mind studying. This lets the admissions committee know you have done a little investigation into the department.
2. Double check you capitalization. For example, you’re going after your master’s degree, not your Master’s Degree, and you earned a degree in environmental science with an emphasis in biology. The only field names to be capitalized are those of languages, e.g. English, Russian, French, and so on, unless it precedes a name (Julie Smith, Master of Secondary Education). You only capitalize titles (environmental scientist) when they precede or follow a name, too ( Julie Smith, Environmental Scientist; Director of Science Stuff Julie Smith).
3. The sentence "During my senior year…" is very long. I advise you to break it up into at least two sentences. You’re listing many of your qualifications at a breakneck pace. Give your readers an occasional short sentence to let them keep up with all the information you’re hitting them with.
These are minor issues, though. The content seems appropriate and well articulated. You come across as a strong applicant. Best of luck to you.
February 2nd, 2010 at 12:17 am
This is solid and well above most of these types of letters I’ve run across. I have three recommendations:
1. Find one professor at the university where you would like to study and mention his or her name and why you like the research/publication/pedagogy that person is known for. It doesn’t have to be the most prestigious person there, but it should be someone whose work you wouldn’t mind studying. This lets the admissions committee know you have done a little investigation into the department.
2. Double check you capitalization. For example, you’re going after your master’s degree, not your Master’s Degree, and you earned a degree in environmental science with an emphasis in biology. The only field names to be capitalized are those of languages, e.g. English, Russian, French, and so on, unless it precedes a name (Julie Smith, Master of Secondary Education). You only capitalize titles (environmental scientist) when they precede or follow a name, too ( Julie Smith, Environmental Scientist; Director of Science Stuff Julie Smith).
3. The sentence "During my senior year…" is very long. I advise you to break it up into at least two sentences. You’re listing many of your qualifications at a breakneck pace. Give your readers an occasional short sentence to let them keep up with all the information you’re hitting them with.
These are minor issues, though. The content seems appropriate and well articulated. You come across as a strong applicant. Best of luck to you.
References :
English prof.